Don't judge a book by its cover

Spent an hour with this patient in clinic today.

Documented in appointment book that she was initially admitted for second operation of her brain tumor but she chose to postpone it August last year. It's easy to judge and assume that she's a bad patient.

She then admitted to not taking her medications on time, to the extent of missing 3 to 4 doses every week. Again, one can easily label her as the non compliant patient who refused intervention.

But I was given the opportunity to ask her why today.

And I'm so glad that I did.

She is a 53 year old lady, once happily married. Her daughter is already married and lives with her family at far north, about 7 hours drive from her. Life was not easy but she managed to earn a living as a cleaner. She has diabetes and high blood pressure but it's manageable with a few tablets.

Then she became ill. After a seizure and collapse at work, diagnosed with a brain tumor requiring surgery. An initial surgery was done to stop cerebrospinal fluid from leaking from her brain.

She could no longer work. Needs to take many medications and attend regular follow up. Often feels giddy and has headache. Nobody dares to hire her.

She became forgetful. That's why she forgot about her medications.

Her daughter bought her a smart phone but she didn't really know how to use it. Her daughter last visited her half a year ago.

Her husband, dishearteningly, left her to remarry, leaving her alone in a run down house.

She has 10 siblings but they all have their own family to take care of. And she doesn't want to burden anyone.

She had to rely on her neighbors to attend appointments. Or even resort to taking public transport.

She suffered all these alone and did not complain to anyone else.

I did whatever I could.
Made a few phone calls to make sure her appointments fall on the same day.
Wrote some letters so she could get some financial assistance from the welfare department.
Helped her to set reminders on her phone so that she will not forget her medications anymore.

She's grateful.
But she is still afraid about the upcoming operation. Because she doesn't know whether she will be able to take care of herself afterwards.

At least she can live a simple life now.

I hope I could have done more though.

Just some food for thought.
Don't form preconceived ideas about someone until you find out the whole truth.