Hubby and I are both breadwinners for our two young children, as well as my parents. Now that they have moved to Kuantan, they have been incredibly helpful, cooking us warm meals and offering to babysit. But should we take up the offer?
Many would say, come on, it's grandparents' duty to care for their grandchildren. Afterall, it will relieve the young parents of child caring duties. And financially, some money saved from not having a babysitter or sending the children off to daycare. With child abuse and murder going rampant, grandparents are the most trustworthy people after ourselves.
The recent article in the Star further elaborated the potential benefits in terms of longevity if they look after the grandkids.
"Maybe it’s the extra exercise, the mental challenges, or simply a psychological effect, but older people who spend a lot of time with their grandchildren are healthier and live longer, a new German study has found."
But there's a caveat.
"But it’s false to conclude that the more you help, the longer you’ll live,” Hertwig warns, noting that previous studies have shown no longevity benefits for grandparents who mind their grandchildren round the clock, which is stressful."
Hubby and I actually prefer hiring a babysitter for my almost 3 month old and sending my eldest to daycare. We are not depriving them of grandparents' love by any means. We still go over most of the evenings and weekends.
Baby Yi cooing at 2 months.
Firstly, we have a reliable babysitter. She's experienced and loved our eldest just like her own grandson. She trained Bing to feed himself, sing, dance, to be continent. She played with Bing and taught him too. Even when Bing was ill, she cared for him. Now that Bing is attending daycare, baby Yi will go under her care instead. You may argue that your parents took care of you so they would be to care for your child, but they may not enjoy it and may not be good at it. But too hard to refuse your request.
Bing's daycare is great! His vocabulary and fine motor skills have improved tremendously. I love how he always brings his artwork home. And there's little next to none homework for 3 years old class. He has grown so much and transformed from a clingy baby to an independent toddler. He loves mingering with children from various ethnic and cultural background as well.
After work, us parents get to spend quality time with our children. It takes our mind off work. As absence makes the heart grows fonder, I particularly find that I am able to love them even better than being with them 24/7.
The current arrangement is a sweet spot for my family. Everyone gets some me time everyday with some doses of love for and from the young ones. That's how we prefer it. What about you? Mind sharing your thoughts?
8 comments:
Seeloknya maybe perlu babysitter.. Sbb kalau suruh mak2 jaga kesian pula dgn mereka kan.. Tp ada jgk mak2 sendiri yg memang nak tlg jagakan..
macam kita, kalau kita kerja, better hantar pada bbysitter.
Kesian pula mereka perlukan rehat.
Mcm sekarng ni pun anak2 kita ada dengan mak.
Nak ambil, tapi jauh. Kena tunggu suami cuti.
Tak sampai hati nak biarkan mereka jaga lama lama.
Sebab mereka perlukan rehat.
memang parents kadang-kadang suka jaga cucu. tapi, kasihan kan. better cari penjaga. jadi, mak ayah tak penat jaga cucu .
Honestly I think parents should send their children to daycare or something similar.. Or maybe to babysitter.. But their grandparents.. I understood that usually grandparents loves to babysit their grandchildren but giving them the right to relax and enjoy life is still my priority
Nenek jaga masa pnatang je.. Hehee.. Sebb diaorg lagi arif.. Then lepas tu, kalau yang bekerja sendiri nak tinggalkan sekejp boleh je bagi nenek, tapi kalau keje speenuh masa baik hntr dekat babysitter.. Kesian nenek nak rehat
Looks like most people would prefer to face a dedicated babysitter. I agree that our parents have already spent so much effort raising us. Now it's time for them to relax
For me i don't think grandparents should take care of their grandchildren on daily basis. They're old and might not have enough energy to take care of our active kids. Let them rest. For some times like school holiday, i might send my kids over to my parents so that they can have some bonding time. But i will not ask them to babysit my kids for daily basis.
Memang nenek suka jaga cucu tapi sekali sekala je. Mak saya pun memang bagitau awal taknak jaga. Kalau macam ada hal Minta tolong jaga kejap Okey je
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